Open Marriage vs. Polygamy
26 Oct 2011 1 Comment
in Relations Tags: hubby, Netflix, Open marriage, Polygamy, Sister Wives
Sister Wives caught my eye on Netflix and being in an Open Marriage I thought it be interesting to watch something kinda sorta similar to my lifestyle. My bad. At first I found it wild and intriguing that the man Kody can keep three women in one house with all the kids. The apartments are very cool as he can pop in on all his wives. Then he had to go mixed all and brings in a 4th wife.
As I watched this show I had turmoil of feelings run thru me. The first wife Meri, has jealousy issues, the second wife Janelle, is somewhat standoffish with her emotions and the third wife Christine is more outspoken and more demanding then all of the wives.
My first reaction to the whole thing is that this man is a dog and just wanting to spread his seed. That lasted only thru the first episode. The second reaction hit me when I watched Meri explain her jealousy issues to Kody. She was trying to get him to understand her side by asking “how would you like it if there was another man in her life?” His response was “I find that vulgar and it sickens me.”
That response just plain ticked me off. Why? Why would that sicken you? Because you are the man of the house and can thump your chest and your women bow at your feet? Not really. That’s a strong minded woman’s response to his reaction. In my Open Marriage mind set, I processed this as being a one-sided point of view. That a woman can’t love multiple men like a man can for a woman. Or that a woman doesn’t have that carnal need that a man has for women.
Probing further into this religion, I found the women to be very modest and their sexuality repressed. Seeing some of the teenagers’ rebel with their clothing and their views, it’s an eye opener for sure. The dynamic is fantastic as each woman takes on a significant role in the home. But they don’t portray much of a role with the husband other than his bed hoping and flashy car. Yeah I find him to be eating this big pie and looking for more as wife number 4 pops in.
As they moved the family to Vegas and all settled into their new homes, he is the one that is not happy because now it’s an inconvenience for him to travel to home to home to see each wife and kids. The wives are now becoming their own identities and enjoying their space. They just share a common man among them.
Personally, I know I could never live a Polygamous lifestyle that requires me to cohabitate with other women and their children my husband sired. I need to feel my Hubby next to me every night; that is my safe true spot of connection and intimacy. I need my privacy and alone time with my family. But above all there is no democracy to decide as a whole how I live my life; just my Hubby’s input is all that matters.
And then it hit me about this how Polygamy business works. People really bash the man for belittling the woman; but in fact it’s the woman’s fault. She allows this to happen and really controls it. The man just sits back and enjoys the ride. He doesn’t do much but keep them pregnant and try not to cause friction between the women.
I could be getting this all wrong but that’s how the show is portrayed to me. And I really don’t see any resemblances between my Marriage and this religion. Not sure why I thought I would either.
Drop Dead Diva
25 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Relations Tags: Drop Dead Diva, Netflix, Plus-Size, Television
Watching shows on Netflix brings me up to speed of what’s on TV. One show I literally ate up was Drop Dead Diva. A gal who was an aspiring model that tragically dies in an accident and her soul is sent to plus size body. I devoured the two seasons available on Netflix, and I was hooked. I love.. love. LOVE this gal!
Although she acts somewhat Valley Girlish, her attitude, body language and mere presences throws off an aura of absolute fabulousness. She rocks her size and even through the obviousness that weight is an issue with those around her, she makes everyone see past that because her size is not who she is but just a part of her. And her attitude portrays a more confident and sexy gal that over a period of time became more comfortable in her new skin.
That’s really how I see myself. I’m that bubbly sexy plus size girl that demands attention where ever I go. More over I do not come off as this weepy whiner woo is me girl too often. Usually it hits once in a while during that time of the month. I good friend of mine prompted me to take two Alieve daily when signs of PMS are rearing its ugly head. Apparently, a doctor recommends this due to Alieve blocking a gland that causes the PMS symptoms. I figured, what the heck, it’s worth a shot!
Holy PMS Batman!
22 Oct 2011 3 Comments
in Relations Tags: Body Image, dick, fat. PMS, Halloween, hubby, Human, masturbate, picture, relationship, Sassyslut, Text messaging, weepy
Since our escaped with Dick, I have had to cancel on our other guy who seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. This is the one I traded cell numbers with and is quite disappointed. Perhaps we sound like a bit of a tease with this fella but it was not on purpose. Shit happens.
My body has been freaking out the last week and it’s even scaring me. I am not a fan of taking meds but boy do I need them. The allergic reaction pushed me to use meds that brought on my period earlier than intended. I foreseen this and now Sassyslut and I are no longer in sync. Balls.
PMS kicked in so hardcore this week that my hubby is contemplating institutionalization. Feelings of being overwhelmed by the kids, their mass amounts of homework, ignoring my own, money issues brought me to the brink of tears all week.
It all snowballed during a silly moment that went horribly wrong within a few text messages between Hubby and me. See every year around Halloween a very skinny girlfriend and I head to the costume stores to try on new things. I entertain Hubby with sexy shots of my girlfriend dressing up in various slutty outfits that my size 16 won’t fit in or remotely make it look good.
I would never want to live with this mentality that my friend has towards food and her body. It’s always about fat, not eating and the size of clothes. She’s a great workout person but outside of that it’s such a strict life style that it filters into everything else in her life. No thanks. Being around her is something I take in small doses because I feel .. well.. fat and unattractive. When I am with my Twin and Sassyslut, I feel hot, sexy and weight is not the issue or topic on a constant basis. We laugh and feel comfortable in our own skin.
So now you have a good idea of my state of mind in this costume store with my skinny friend. Weepy, feeling fat PMS mode taking pictures of my skinny friend to entertain the Hubby. While my friend is trying on some slutty look, I hit the wigs. I find a funny pink spiky look that went well with these glasses making me look hilarious. I fire off the pics to Hubby. He liked her shots but mine received a “I like her pic better” .. .. Ok. I wanted to leave then but continued looking and taking her picture.
I then found a feather wig that looked totally awesome and tried it on. It made me feel hot. Even my friend liked it on me so that made me feel even better. I took a picture of it and shot it off to Hubby. He responds back with a “Eaacch” which made me stop and question “You don’t like the feathers?” He responds back with “Big Bird is not hot”. And I crumble. I text back “Wow, I really liked it.” And nothing was said back.
I was very emotional and so not like myself. But being in this state of mind I couldn’t help but dredge up a major issue I felt that was harmful to my state of mind. I know the man loves me. I know he would never leave me. He also is considerate and awesome in so many areas. But I have always felt he did not find me attractive. Since we have been together I have definitely put on the weight and do not look like I did when we first met. I remember he did find me attractive in the beginning but during the births of our kids there is a definite feeling of being undesired since then. Fishing for compliments always left me disappointed and were never freely given. I would openly show my attraction and desire to him but it never was reciprocated.
During this weepy time frame it hit me very hard and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I let him know it truly hurts but no words were really offered other than stating that my skinny friend wasn’t hot to him.
I’m not stupid. I know men masturbate to skinny women that have a lil plumpness to the rump or large breast. But you never see them rubbing one out to a size 16 “hottie”. That’s the reality of it because us women don’t double click the mouse on larger men/women porn and men are quite visual.
So even though we have a great relationship and do love one another, there are rocky parts and issues that still exist. We are human and accept each other for all our flaws. Just occasionally they rear their ugly heads and cause a ripple in the happiness and that is life.
Repercussions
16 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Relations Tags: dick, Fuck, hubby, infections, Sassy, Sassyslut, sex
Can five sex partners in three days, fuck up your vajayjay? *sigh* For me? Yup. I came down with a yeast infection and can’t figure out why. Started out with some serious cramping the next day and it lasted two days until I decided to medicate. I am not a fan of doing this because it brings on my period and (Dammit!!) Sassyslut and I are on the same schedule. So I am really hoping here that I just didn’t fuck that all up.
I am at the mercy of a sensitive crotch and will keep hand sanitizer or make playmates wash their hands before going there. And maybe I need to not let any fingers go in there. I have no clue.
I canceled our lunch date for this past Friday due to this issue and well straining my back. Yeah, not a spring chicken anymore and need to watch myself with over doing things around the house. Little ones wanting to be picked up don’t help either.
So, I entertained you all for a good few days. :/ Hopefully I will be back in the saddle again soon. I really want to take a crack at Dick again. Weird, right? I’m more of a one hump wonder but this guy has potential.
Anyhoo, I hope that by Friday I will be tits and balls deep with Sassy and one of those guys we selected.
And in other news, I at least gave Naughty Little Monkey and her hubby some boner fodder to burn up some of her excess energy.
Karaoke Kay
09 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Open marriage, Relations Tags: boyfriend, breast, karaoke, Kay, Kiss, kissing, orgasms, penetration, Relationships, sex, threesome
I have a very dear friend that I written about two years ago; the Lesbian. Feel free to catch on her story before reading any further on this posting.
Ok, all caught up? Good. Well knowing that she is bisexual I can’t keep her named as the Lesbian. So I will rename her. Kay is a fantastic woman that found her way in the world of Karaoke like her boyfriend. While pursuing this great pastime she has made loads of friends and developed a serious crush on a fellow Karaoke singer. He is very similar to her boyfriend and things progressed to a drunken evening in a threesome with her boyfriend and her crush. Confusion ensued as she contacts me for help. Her boyfriend, although initiated the threesome for what seems to be for the specific reason to DP her, was weird about the whole thing and did not know the state of their relationship. Sex was off and orgasms were not achieved all around and the crush grows stronger.
While talking to her I found that she has not understood the type of relationship she can have with her boyfriend if she just talked honestly with him. Her rocker boyfriend has had a very colorful sex life and this tells me that an open relationship is not something he would be against. I even tossed in that to help her smooth the relation out into a more positive avenue, that I would help them out in doing a threesome with them.
Not so shockingly this was exactly what was needed to help them. Several weeks go by and I get a call from her asking if I would like to have a fun time this evening. We were to go to a bar, sing Karaoke, do a little drinking and then meet up with the boyfriend after he gotten off of work. I said sure!
Now I am not into the types of men she is into. He is a rocker with piercings, tattoos, bald and a full beard. His look does not turn me on but as a person I truly liked him. My love for my friend was enough to agree to this evening without a second thought.
I dress up in a sexy dress and got all girly for them. She was unsure about the whole situation until she saw what I was wearing. In the bar that she frequents a lot, she was very affectionate with me which probably had the regulars wondering. We sang our songs (which I was horrible at), drank our drinks and headed back to house.
Her boyfriend needed a shower as he handed me a cheap beer to drink. He works as a cook and had the musky smell of sweat that was going to be deal breaker if he didn’t shower. Luckily after a few mentions of him needed to take a shower he did it and shows back up in a towel.
It’s about midnight when the festivities began. Kay began kissing me and it was game on. As I was stripping she turned on some hard rock music via the internet radio that tossed in a commercial every few songs. While she was doing this her boyfriend was all over me, kissing me and then moving down to my breasts. I always find the attention I get on my breasts very light and wanting to tell them to be a little rougher, but instead I just enjoy it. He kisses me to my side and his beard tickles causing me to giggle. His beard is very soft and I just have to get used to it.
He then pushes me on my back and goes right to town as I feel Kay’s lips on my nipple. I then pull her up to me so I can kiss her. We go at this for a good while as I enjoy the oral he performed. He stops to put on a condom (which I thankfully forewarned about my allergy to spermicidal ones or this evening would have been a bust) and enters me. Oh it’s delicious. He is not huge and just the right size. Kay is excited as she raves about his cock and I have to admit I liked it. He fucked me while I again kissed Kay some more. After a while of me getting all the attention, I stopped him to switch positions. I had her lay down as I draped over her to kiss her. He came up behind me and then bites me right on my tattooed butt cheek.
my tat 
That was super hot! He then entered me while we were kissing and my thigh was on her pelvis as we fucked like this and I watched her cum all over my thigh.
We take a quick potty break and he lays down to tell me to get on top. I straddle him and begin to ride him. I feel Kay behind me as she cups my breasts and nibbles on my neck and ear. This position was so hot that I came four times and boy was I loud about it. They both loved making me cum and I so did I!
I pop off and have her straddle him as I come up behind her to do the same thing for her. I tend to be a bit rougher as I pull her hair and bite on them. I am not sure how many times she came but she wasn’t as loud as I was. It was definitely hot to see them both cum at the same time though.
We took a quick potty, beer and check the phone break. Kay kissed me and pushed me back down on the bed and dove right to my clit. Orally if I compared the two, I would say they were about equal with her being a bit more aggressive. I usually don’t care for being fingered but with her it was pretty nice. Until she starts pushing up on the inner part of my vagina that apparently is where your G spot is. I squirm some to stop her and open my eyes to see the head of his cock looming over my forehead. I begin to giggle and both look at me as I laugh about the cock over my head. Kay goes back down on me as I begin to play with his cock. I stroked his cock feeling it get hard as I run my tongue the length. The position we are in puts his cock at an angle that would be hot for those who enjoy porn flicks with the cocks entering a mouth at hitting the side of the cheek. We are doing this for a while as he pushes his cock into my mouth and all I can think of is teeth! How can a guy enjoy the sharpness of teeth running along their cock. He seemed to like it.
Another commercial hits and it’s about crunchy nut cereal and I burst out laughing. I asked if he had crunchy nuts and we all are in a fit of giggles. I think this is where we petered off and snuggled some before I asked about the time. It was past 2 am and I was ready to go home. He thanked me and kissed me goodbye and she took me home.
This brings a full circle to our relationship that evolved over the last two years. I introduced her to her new life and created a beautiful self assured bisexual woman who found her love. It may have been two years since we last been together but it felt like a few weeks. She wants to have me over to do this several more times and I joke about waiting 2 years again. But we will see. I am not good with repeat performances even if it was pretty damn good.
Speed Dating
09 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Relations Tags: emails, lunch, meets, men, speed dating
****NOTE***** Ok, I am a little behind in my postings. I needed to post this one before I updated with a very special evening that I had last night. Read on! *********
Sassy Slut and I have grown seriously tired of the search for a lunch time boy toy. Our ad we posted brought us about 100 responses. I was in charge of narrowing them down to those who followed our simple requests and then responding to them appropriately. Those were then sent the questionnaire which was then whittled down to about 30. Out of those 30 we received back 15 responses.
I would then screen these to weed out those who still fell thru the cracks. We had winners of all sorts. One kid tried bsing his way past his age of 24 being “shy” of 30. Several men sent bogus pictures that I busted with demands of needing a picture taken asap with their cell phones holding a piece of paper with today’s date on it. Yeah, sadly we had to go to those levels. Another argued we were spam bots and that’s why he sent us bogus pictures and information. We also received countless pictures of cocks, who all got eliminated.
Out of those 15 responses we traded pics with 10 hopefuls and started setting up meets. This is where we got seriously weary of the same responses and had to get this over and done with. Sassy being the sweet heart she is could not see past their pretty blue eyes and bulging muscles for the load of crap they were trying to feed us. So it was me they had to get past and receive a picture of us from. Setting up time frames I decided the guy we would choose is easy going and had some self confidence in what he wanted. So I informed all ten men that there will be back to back interviews and started setting up dates .
Monday we had three men meeting us and they had a half hour intervals to wow us. I found one guy that I was smitten with due to his straightforward no nonsense point of view and he was more than willing to jump thru our hoops to prove he was worthy. NICE. This one instantly got my cell number and I told him not to fuck this up. Out of the three to show, he was the only one who did. He’s single, local and the only issue is condoms. But he is working on it.
Tuesday we had again three fellas committing to meet us. One guy really wanted to but our place of meeting is where his wife worked. Whoops! Sucks to be you. A hot military guy was coming to meet us in full fatigues and no boxers, YUM!! Another fella who I asked to send a recent face shot sends us his cock shot. I told him we are passing on him. He begged and pleaded. So I relented and he sent a face shot. I was seriously ticked with the guy but still agreed to meet him.
We get to our designated spot and he was waiting for us so we sat down to chat. He was very cute in person and I was warming up to his personality. We warned him that we have others to interview and that he would have to go when they showed up. He was cool with this. Shockingly (not really) he was the only one to show up. So we told him he won by default.
There was actually another guy that did show up but was so miffed with us that we were meeting another guy that he decided a scathing email would somehow guilt us into begging a final chance. Yeah, no.
So it just goes to show how full of shit men really are, out of all those men, two stepped up to the plate to actually want to go thru with this. Let’s hope the next few weeks prove them worthy.
Advice
06 Oct 2011 4 Comments
in Open marriage Tags: Intimate relationship, Marriage, Open marriage, open relationship, relationship, wife, yahoo
Occasionally, I am contacted by men about my Open Marriage. Not sure how to go about dealing with this new concept or wishing their own relationship was like mine. Once they ask me questions, I turn into the mentor mode and begins a new education for them. The following conversation is between a husband and I. Mind you I over looked his lies on his profile but did point on one major one regarding his wife.
Whether or not he is bsing me on all this is moot because I have no interest in him. His goal is to get his wife to agree to an Open Marriage, yet there are some flaws he had not realized.
HIM:
I was just wondering if I could ask your advice on how to get my wife to open up to an OPEN MARRIAGE.
I understand if you dont respond. I dont want to waste your time either. Ive just tried so many things, have been honest and open…. I would even allow her to try it out first, but she is not budging. Any ideas that may help me? I would love to get her to talk with another OPEN couple. Maybe that would help…. IDK.. any advice would be much appriciated.
Me:
what have you tried? Is she bisexual? (because this is what was listed on his profile)
HIM:
No, she is definitely not bisexual, although it would be so cool if she was ?
I have talked to her about it, tried coming to a mutual compromise. I have only had one on one discussions with her and expressed my interest in it. She thinks I am being very selfish, but I am willing to share her as well. With some conditions of course… I can’t have her getting pregnant or diseases. I’ve been fixed since I had my kids, so I don’t have to worry about getting some chick knocked up.
However, she is unwilling to even think about it. The answer is most certainly NO! She says there is no way she could have sex with a guy without falling in love with him, and can’t understand how I think I can have sex with some chick without falling for her. So this issue is a major obstacle with her.
I have yet to ask her to speak with another couple who is in a open marriage, however I know two couples who are. I have brought them up in our conversations, but she is skeptical that their marriages will last forever. I on the other hand would NEVER leave my wife if she allowed me to play with other ladies occasionally.
I don’t know what to do from here. I am not sure what else to say… but I could ruin my entire 11 year marriage because I want a fresh piece of ass.
The only other obstacle is that my wife is no longer in the best of shape. She has become a BBW. She is still very pretty, but her body leaves a lot to be desired. Which is also another big reason that I am looking to get some supplemental piece of booty.
Am I a greedy evil person for pursing this?Thanks for at least giving it some thought.
ME:
there are lots of guys out there that are into BBW. I am no spring chicken and still have the men kicking in my door. So that’s a load of shit.
You sound selfish to be honest. You do not find your wife desirable and she realizes it. So in this fact alone she will hold onto whatever strands your marriage is based on to keep you.
If you seriously want an open marriage then stop being like all the other cheating asshole husbands out there and come clean to your wife. Total honesty is the best thing. I know you are liar because you have in your profile that she would be willing to participate down the line with whomever you hook up with. That’s very misleading.
Your wife needs to feel that you are totally into her and that you would never leave her for another person. From what I gather she is not feeling it or has not realized this. It took me a year to finally get it that my husband was not looking to replace me and that he was very loyal to me.
Instead of pushing for your dick getting the attention, you need to work on her. You want this ultimate goal of an open marriage then work on getting her comfortable with the idea.
There are books out there that you can read with her that can help you. Do your research and get off the dating sites.
Yahoo has groups for those interested in Open marriages that can be very useful too.
I have no problem talking to her. Within our first conversation I can tell you whether or not she would entertain the idea of an OM.
HIM:
Your candor is appreciated. At least I know now that the problem is not her, it’s me. (I had this sneaking suspicion it was me) You have also given me some places to do more research though… thank you.
I have been honest with her… that I love her till death (and I really do, no joke), but I have also told her that I am not totally happy with her body any more. I know there are guys that are into BBW’s. I am actually not extremely picky, and it’s not like I have a problem or don’t enjoy getting intimate with her. She and I still have a lot of fun in between the sheets. I always try to make sure she is satisfied at least once before we are done. I’m not 100% with it, but pretty damn close. My problem is that I have possibly been too honest.
She knows that I peruse around on dating sites. She doesn’t know exactly what I say or what I do, she just knows that I won’t touch anyone till she either approves or until she divorces me. Honestly, I am surprised she hasn’t left me.What would you ask her or say to her that would make you able to tell if she is or isn’t ever going to be open to an OM?
I will let you know if she ever comes around to actually agreeing to talk to someone. If your still willing to talk to her by then. It could be awhile, I have asked her to do that before with no progress.
ME:
I cannot persuade her, so do not think that I can perform the miracle you want. You on the other hand are the one that holds the magic to help her.
For one, if you are unhappy about her body then change the family dynamic that includes exercising so that she does not feel so put on the spot.
Secondly, shut up about her weight. If there is anything about her weight that will hurt your relationship and make her self esteem go any lower is the man of her heart telling her she is not attractive because of her size. Shame on you for that one.
Thirdly, do your research and share it with her. An Open marriage is more than just having the ability to fuck another person. Opening the marriage is about being honest with each other and not worrying about your spouse’s reaction and repercussions. Being able to freely talk about anything and actually looking at your spouse with fresh eyes because they literally blossom in front of you showing you their true self.
Everyone lies to their spouse and hides little things that define them as a person. Opening a marriage is a joint venture that should be shared with each other and not centered around your dick getting wet.
So first things first. Get your wife in a state of mind that she is happy and has the self confidence to go out there and get her freak on. I warn you, she will get more action than you will. It’s a gimme.
At this point you perusing the internet looking for a girl you are disrespecting her and the relationship, so you have to repair a lot of damage now. You have a lot to apologize for and you seriously need to come clean and woo your woman all over again. And this definitely takes time and you cannot rush it. You love your life then don’t fuck it up.
Good luck.
******************************************************************************************
Oh I am sure there will be more correspondences going back and forth but I am pretty much done with him. In all reality he should be sending me a quick thank you note and immediately deleting his profile. My dream of him and his wife would be him throwing himself into her lap bawling like a baby for all the wrong he’s done to her and begging for her forgiveness.
He should then turn into the doting husband he should be to help her become a more self assured woman who knows her man loves her. I see a long road her that slowly helps nurture a stable foundation before the marriage can be opened.
Or maybe I just helped him become a better person who really doesn’t need to have his marriage open after all.
One can just hope I made some kind of positive impact and saved a marriage.
Give and take
05 Oct 2011 6 Comments
in Open marriage Tags: appreciation, cheating, girlfirends, give and take, hubby, love, Marriage, Open marriage, spouse, wives
It’s always bugged me how marriages can fall into an open relationship or cheaters evolve. I use my own marriage in comparison and it is baffling at times. I don’t blame each person but I do feel that the participants are not trying. What I found is that I was totally wrong about the whole thing.
Talking with my closest girl friends, I love to share the latest thing my darling hubby has done for me. Such as surprising me with little gifts, cooking me a meal, or bringing home a bottle of wine when he knows my day was going a little rough. I receive the same reaction from them all, my husband doesn’t do that. And it floors me. How can they not?!
It is a two way street in a marriage, give and take. You give 80 percent of yourself and take 20. This goes for both in the marriage. I found this happens in our marriage and only occasionally does one of us feel unappreciated or unloved. But over all we both do this naturally. I don’t have to say buy me this for my birthday that often because he knows. He took the time to ask or remembered me mentioning I liked something. But what floors me most of all, the man knows me better than I do. Some gifts will be odd and I don’t like it. But with given time, I end up raving about it and telling him he knows exactly what I would like, even if I don’t! Amazing.
My girlfriend’s marriages are cold and it’s due to the smallest acts of love and appreciation to their spouse. Their husbands don’t even cook a simple meal for them. I am blown away by this. Not when she is feeling ill or needs a break, never! In twenty plus years these marriages were one sided. No spontaneous gifts, nothing. And that is why they are in the situations they are in now. I get it, finally. And I don’t blame them for Opening their marriages or cheating. There is a level of intimacy that was never there and so they seek it elsewhere.
I guess if anything, this posting is to encourage those who just read this to evaluate your relationship and not disregard it because you find that your situation is working. I am here to tell you that it is a constant work in progress. So give your loved one a day off with a small gesture on your part showing them how much you love and appreciate them.
