Holy PMS Batman!

22 Oct 2011 3 Comments

by househo in Relations Tags: Body Image, dick, fat. PMS, Halloween, hubby, Human, masturbate, picture, relationship, Sassyslut, Text messaging, weepy

Since our escaped with Dick, I have had to cancel on our other guy who seems to have dropped off the face of the earth.  This is the one I traded cell numbers with and is quite disappointed.  Perhaps we sound like a bit of a tease with this fella but it was not on purpose.  Shit happens.

My body has been freaking out the last week and it’s even scaring me.  I am not a fan of taking meds but boy do I need them.  The allergic reaction pushed me to use meds that brought on my period earlier than intended.  I foreseen this and now Sassyslut and I are no longer in sync.  Balls.

PMS kicked in so hardcore this week that my hubby is contemplating institutionalization.   Feelings of being overwhelmed by the kids, their mass amounts of homework, ignoring my own, money issues brought me to the brink of tears all week.

It all snowballed during a silly moment that went horribly wrong within a few text messages between Hubby and me.  See every year around Halloween a very skinny girlfriend and I head to the costume stores to try on new things.  I entertain Hubby with sexy shots of my girlfriend dressing up in various slutty outfits that my size 16 won’t fit in or remotely make it look good. 

I would never want to live with this mentality that my friend has towards food and her body.  It’s always about fat, not eating and the size of clothes.  She’s a great workout person but outside of that it’s such a strict life style that it filters into everything else in her life.  No thanks.  Being around her is something I take in small doses because I feel .. well..  fat and unattractive.  When I am with my Twin and Sassyslut, I feel hot, sexy and weight is not the issue or topic on a constant basis.  We laugh and feel comfortable in our own skin. 

So now you have a good idea of my state of mind in this costume store with my skinny friend.  Weepy, feeling fat PMS mode taking pictures of my skinny friend to entertain the Hubby.   While my friend is trying on some slutty look, I hit the wigs.  I find a funny pink spiky look that went well with these glasses making me look hilarious.  I fire off the pics to Hubby.  He liked her shots but mine received a “I like her pic better” ..  ..  Ok.  I wanted to leave then but continued looking and taking her picture. 

I then found a feather wig that looked totally awesome and tried it on.  It made me feel hot.  Even my friend liked it on me so that made me feel even better.  I took a picture of it and shot it off to Hubby.  He responds back with a “Eaacch” which made me stop and question “You don’t like the feathers?”  He responds back with “Big Bird is not hot”.  And I crumble.  I text back “Wow, I really liked it.” And nothing was said back. 

I was very emotional and so not like myself.  But being in this state of mind I couldn’t help but dredge up a major issue I felt that was harmful to my state of mind.  I know the man loves me.  I know he would never leave me.  He also is considerate and awesome in so many areas.  But I have always felt he did not find me attractive.  Since we have been together I have definitely put on the weight and do not look like I did when we first met.  I remember he did find me attractive in the beginning but during the births of our kids there is a definite feeling of being undesired since then.  Fishing for compliments always left me disappointed and were never freely given.  I would openly show my attraction and desire to him but it never was reciprocated. 

During this weepy time frame it hit me very hard and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.  I let him know it truly hurts but no words were really offered other than stating that my skinny friend wasn’t hot to him.

I’m not stupid.  I know men masturbate to skinny women that have a lil plumpness to the rump or large breast.  But you never see them rubbing one out to a size 16 “hottie”.  That’s the reality of it because us women don’t double click the mouse on larger men/women porn and men are quite visual. 

So even though we have a great relationship and do love one another, there are rocky parts and issues that still exist.  We are human and accept each other for all our flaws.  Just occasionally they rear their ugly heads and cause a ripple in the happiness and that is life.