Drama of Sheman
21 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Open marriage Tags: commitment, dating, Kat, love, Open marriage, Sheman, ultimatium
So I haven’t been talking about Sheman much.. and its cause we have had a small hiatus while working, school work, kids, life, hubby.. and being a total heinous bitch. I have no clue why I went to such a crabby bitchy mean as shit mode but its been just that and no one was safe.
Until I got my mojo back. Then I was a lot more personable and ME! I am a very fun person. Hilariously fun person in fact. Those that know me knew I was going thru some frigged up phase that was messing with all my slutty activities.
Well Sheman and I began paling around again. She has moved into her apt but I am too chicken to go there. Well not chicken.. just not ready. We had this discussion and I told her I don’t want to have sex with her yet. I wasn’t ready. Why? My track record showed that any one I was really interested in became such a sexual disappointment. I don’t want her to be one. So I am ok with abstaining.. for now. But boy its there now, tickling the edge of my subconscious to just jump her ass and get it over with.
I had issues with the other woman keeping her at her beck and call. She is using this gal’s car, taking care of her house and kids. It was like she was being owned and any time I asked for us to do something, she interfered some how. Once she moved into her home I was more at eased with her and able to do things with her.
That’s when things hit the fan with her. Her .. dang.. I gotta have a name for her. I will call her Kat. Kat is a married woman, like myself and has the freedom to date other women. Her husband is totally ok with this. So they have a conditional Open Marriage that allows her to have relationships with women but no men. I met her close to two years ago and did not find her interesting enough to want to date. Her husband I believe does not date anyone.
Sheman doesn’t care for him and I have grown not to care for Kat either. I tried pointing out to Sheman that she was the nanny/house keeper/at Kat’s beck and call. Sheman denied it up until recently. Due to our frequent in person contacts, Kat has had some reservations. She has this conversation with Sheman where she professed her love to her. Sheman told her she loved her too. Surprisingly I don’t find that upsetting. The next thing that comes outta Sheman is that she had made a promise sometime ago that she can’t keep now. After much prodding she tells me that she promised “exclusive commitment when they professed love to one another”.
This I found upsetting. I gave her the riot act on how she says stupid shit in the heat of the moment and now she fucked everything up. Kat wants me outta the picture and to keep Sheman all to herself. I told her that this is her decision. It’s interesting how I find myself sure that I will not be kicked to the curb with her. So I had to coach her to fix the relationship with Kat.
Turns out Kat is afraid I will steal Sheman away from her. Lord.. That is such a dumb ass reason to put a ultimatium on a person. I have no intentions of doing that, even if I had those deep feelings. I would never do that. Sheman has her own life to live. If she wants to be a part of mine, great! If not she is free to go. You can’t stop a person from moving on.
So for now, we are casually dating and enjoying each other’s company. She’s slowly integrating herself into my family and she has been well received. I don’t see it ending anytime soon. And as my twin said earlier today, Sheman is the longest interest in another person that I have had other than my hubby. Hmmm…
hooking up issues?
30 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in Relations Tags: cheating, commitment, confusion, lies, Open marriage, open relationship, poly, poly love, poly relationships, sex, single women
Late last night I conversed with several men that was some what enlightening for the female species.
First let me get out-of-the-way an update on BJ, he sent me a response stating he did not know we had set a date. Umm, what? I wish I saved the IM of the actual date and dinner we were going to have. But lets just chalk it up to the lack of blood flow to his brain and once he relieved the swelling all thoughts of me and our date went out of his head. Whatever, I find it odd that he didn’t realise we had a date set and blows it off so nonchalantly.
Limo guy is still MIA and so is my urge to fuck anyone. So I am just chatting and brooding. Which comes to the subject of this posting of hooking up with the opposite sex.
While chatting with the first fella, he was the one that I previously posted about his issue with Single Women. He had felt that these women walk into his life and the relationship knowing full well that they are not number one and are okay with it. Yet he fails to realise that women that are single have this urge to have that number one man and build a life with them. This guy is not someone they can bring home to meet mom and dad. Theres no future with him. So sooner or later they realise they are wasting valuable baby making years and walk away. Both parties are in pain but it was necessary to do.
I informed him to get himself a gal that just broke up from a relationship or is divorcing. Be the rebound guy and don’t expect the lovey parts. But that’s what he truly wants. So there lies his dilemma. My advice was to find another Open relationship and see how you mesh with that girl. Did I set myself up? Who knows, he is of course outside of my golden rule of- No dating anyone outside 25 miles radius. But I am known to break my own rules.
Then there was another gentleman popping up on my IM that I long ago deleted, this guy hasn’t spoken to me in several years. He is in an Open Relationship and he too is having issues hooking up with women. Why is that? Well all I can say is that crap we women put up with while dealing with men, makes us leary of wanting to hook up with you guys.
For one, you don’t consider our boundaries or our needs. Then once you have our attention you drop the ball! Blowing us off for the longest time, then waltz back to us expecting to find us ecstatic you remembered us. That we should want to thank you with a blow job. Well on behalf of all of us loose women I would like to say, Fuck You! or better yet Go Fuck Yourself! You screwed up and we’ve moved on, end of story.
I totally sympathize with those men in Open Relationships and Marriages, finding a suitable woman to have a relationship with is very hard. What can I say but this where the woman’s rule and the men are left clamouring for our attention. Its fantastic for women’s ego and self-esteem but its a huge humbling kick in the nads for the men.
But it’s not all roses for us women either, men can’t handle part-time relationships. Christ look at Limo guy, I throw my pussy at him and expect nothing in return and he finds it difficult to accept. He stated before that if I was Cheating on my husband, he would have been ok with all of this. But why? Why should I be lying to my husband to get laid by someone else? Is it because I could some day be his? What kind of life is that? Starting out a relationship by cheating. There is no future there. Only mistrust and then that relationship is doomed to fail because it started out all wrong. I don’t get it at all. Someone please, enlighten me.
Poly love
29 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in Open marriage Tags: commitment, Open marriage, poly love, poly relationships, polyamour
An enjoyable song that is about a Poly love based relationship. Check it out!
Single women
28 Apr 2010 2 Comments
in Open marriage Tags: attraction, commitment, help, lust, married, Open marriage, poly, poly love, poly relationships, sex, single women
Well this posting is a bit different today. I have a fellow in a Open Relationship or poly lifestyle in need of some advise on Single Women. Here’s his dilemma:
Glad to see that you and your hubby are proudly in an open relationship. My women and I have also been doing that for a while; although we call it poly (sure you’re acquainted with the term). I think there are a lot more people who are in one or wish they where in an open relationship, but do not speak up about it. The world would probably be a better world if they did.
So after reading your profile I see you had some trouble dealing with married men who don’t understand what an open relationship is about, sorry you that you’ve had those situations.
I have had similar troubles like that, but it has been with single women. To sum up a few long stories, I have gotten involved with single women, who know full well that I am in a poly relationship. I’m up front about everything. I’m not here to lie or deceit people just to get laid, I really do want genuinely close relationships. So the dating or seeing (whatever you want to call it) processes goes good for a while, then one day they tell me they can be involved with me anymore because I’m with someone else. I get the I’m a great guy speech and they really wish things could be different and all that type of stuff. In fact I would much rather they tell me I’m a jerk or something that I could understand. So I’m left standing there thinking WTF why would you get involved with me in the first place if you knew you couldn’t handle this type or relationship.
I would really appreciate your thoughts about that you seem to on my side of the fence with that with situations like that. Well, those experiences have led me to stay away from single women.
So this poor joe wants to have fun-loving relationships with Single females but they just can’t handle things being noncommittal perhaps?
I’d love to hear your take on this.
