First Dungeon Visit
13 Feb 2012 4 Comments
in Open marriage Tags: Bead, Dom, Dungeon, Hitachi, Jacob's cross, Mardi Gras, nipples, pain, pleasure, Sassyslut, sensations, sub, Wartenberg Wheel
It has taken Sassyslut and I almost two years to get to experience the on goings in a in Dungeon. All sorts of things would get in the way of going and this time nothing was going to stop us from going. Not even a snow storm.
We arrived an hour late but it did not matter to those there. Faces we saw were all different from the ones we met at the previous greet and meet. Only the hosts looked familiar and it was not unnerving at all. Trying to keep tabs on all who was there would be hard to do so I will run thru how our evening panned out.
The dungeon was located in the basement and we had to get dressed before entering the dungeon. The theme of the party was Mardi Gras and dominating persons were given beads to give to those deserving. The one who had the most beads won a gift and two were to be had.
There were more newbies in attendance than regulars but it didn’t seem like it as the night progressed. SassySlut and I got into costume and headed down to the basement.
Entering the dungeon, I see an older naked man fully erect massaging an Asian man on a table and half a dozen or so milling about. I am not one for sitting still and wandered a bit until I found these mini bow and arrow nerf set and got excited. The naked man stretched himself on the Jacob’s cross and instructed me to take shots at him. Not one to turn down some fun, I started launching darts at him. It was hilarious and then I had Sassyslut stretch out on it to shoot at her butt. I even gave her a kiss mark to aim for.
During this time frame other things were going on. There was a transsexual being dominated and tortured by a sadist and there were several spankings going on.
I’m not sure how long I was playing with the bow and darts but the next thing I know the transsexual walks up to me and says, “you are having too much fun” and tells me to come to her. I approach her and she tells me to strip and I say no. I wasn’t sure what she wanted but I knew I wasn’t going to strip. She then shows me these leather fur lined cuffs and puts them on my wrists and then walks me over to these hanging chains and instructs me to raise my arms up over my head. She proceeds to clip me to the chain and now I am chained and can’t move. I then see her pick up a flogger made of leather and proceeds to tell me the rules of the game. Green is go, Yellow means stop what you are doing and Red means all done. Once I acknowledged she began to lightly flog me and I liked it. She then switched to a plastic flog that had a bit of a sting to it but didn’t hurt. I was able to tolerate it. The last item she showed me was a piece of leather with holes in it that came from an old shoe. That one took two had my yowling Yellow within two wacks. She unleashed me by then and strapped Sassyslut up for her turn. The gal can take the pain but she said yellow on the shoe leather.
While this was happening a submissive female was stretched on the Jacobs cross while Dom male was working her over big time. He had her screaming out in pain and used a Wartenberg Wheel to really get her to howl. At the end he became very attentive and sat her down to watch over her and attend to her needs. It was very sweet moment and I liked the guy for it.
There came a lull in the mood and conversations ran thru other things than dungeon activities when I noticed the Dom playing with some golden chain trinket and Sassyslut said it was a nipple clamp. I was very interested in seeing it, so I called him over. Inspecting it, I found it to be quite innocent and Dom explained how it worked. He clipped it on the web of skin between my thumb and pointer finger and it didn’t hurt. And then he showed that if you pulled the chain it tightened and you felt the pressure. He asked to put it on my nipple and I hesitated as Sassyslut said it hurt and suggested to place it on the areola. I agreed to this and dropped my top.
By this time frame we had a crowd gathering around us and I suggested I get connected to Sassyslut. The pressure was noticeable and I waited for Dom to attach it to Sassyslut’s areola. When we were attached the crowd began wagering beads to whoever wore it the longest. They tried moving us around and had us doing tug-a-wars until I was the one howling Yellow.
We all then noticed the hostess in a corner on a medical bench with her legs strapped in stirrups and a Hitachi on her clit. Sassyslut is a huge fan of the Hitachi and I never experienced it. Dom is shocked that I never played with one and said we were going to take care of that right now.
Next thing I know is I am ushered to the other side of the dungeon that had several beds. I’m stripping naked now and Dom is asking me questions as to what I would like and not like for him to do. I asked that no fingers be inserted in me and left the rest up to him. I also had Sassyslut lay next to me and as I noticed a crowd gathering yet again. I seriously wasn’t prepared for doing this because I didn’t shave my legs but it didn’t seem to matter. There were no judgments there and I didn’t feel self conscious or untrusting at all.
Dom started the Hitachi and placed it right on my clit. It was an nice sensation as I cooed and then he turned it up and I was purring. There were moments that I he held one leg down while Sassyslut held down the other. It was not a G-spot orgasms but they did were good enough to string along and had me howling in delight.
When Dom finished he kissed me several times and asked me if I was ok. I said yes and he continued to talk to me and I realized he was assessing level of highness. After he found me to fine I was able to sit up and one watcher handed me a hand full of beads for the show.
I got dressed while things toned down again as we chatted about all sorts of things and I rehydrated with some water. I was starting to get tired and wondered out loud about the bead count and who won the gifts. I counted mine and Sassyslut counted hers; we were tied. We were again center of attention and asked what we would do to earn more beads. Sassy takes off her top; so I take off my top. She takes off her panties; I took my pants back off. We were both now naked and the beads were tied again.
We were then asked what we would do to earn more beads and we said whatever! Asian guy walked up with silk neckties and asked if we trusted them enough to be blind folded. Again, no trust issues and I agreed. Both of us blindfolded was lead a few steps from the bed and they had us standing back to back. The boys there that enjoyed playing with ropes began to tie us up.
Things were a little uncomfortable because I am shorter than Sassyslut and couldn’t get a good stance without leaning up against her. Our arms were not stretched completely up and it had some caused some straining for both of us. We were wrapped with some vinyl tape around the waist bounded us to each other.
Then multiple hands and sensations started began. Someone was running a thin feathered boa all over our bodies and between our legs. Some light flogging was all over us. Hot and cold sensations on our nipples. Bare body on body rubbing and hot breaths. All the while we were feeling these sensations; we can hear Dom with his sub being face fucked and that added to the scene. Also my hands were very cold and clammy and the Asian guy began sucking on my fingers.
After a few minutes more of the sensations we were untied and they had us facing each other. Being shorter than Sassyslut, my face was leveled right at her boobs so I was able to motor boat her. We were bound together again, and now our bare asses were prime targets. We feel lots of hands all over our bodies and constant different sensations.
Dom was done with his sub and came over with the Wartenberg Wheel and began to run it all over my body. Wow, what a sensation! It brings out yelps but didn’t quite hurt. Then someone brought over the nipple clamp and bee lined to the same breast that was tortured earlier. I was screaming yellow as fast as he put it on.
The floggings were getting more intense while the two of us were being unbound and the moved Sassyslut further away from me and Dom moved in between us and all the while I have hands all over and being flogged. He moves from me and I feel alone and the attention is doubled on me. There were a few times the swats were a little harder and I was saying yellow. Then Asian guy rubs up against me and whispers in my ear “what do you want?” I say “what?” He repeats it and adds “pleasure or pain”. So I say “pleasure!”
I was then released from the bonds but my hands were still bound and I was still blind folded I was guided back to the bed and tossed face first down on the bed. I was then massaged and someone was paying detailed attention to my feet. I then felt the Hitachi revisiting my clit and more hands rubbing me all over my back. Someone sat at my head and removed the rope so my hands would warm up. But he continued to keep me bound. I was then asked by the Asian if I was allergic to latex and I said yes. He came back with vinyl gloves and started to play with my puss while the Hitachi was riding my clit.
After a few minutes of this I was turned over and he continued to play with my puss and the guy at my head was holding down my hands and playing with my tits at the same time. It was awesome!
When I was done, the Asian guy removed my blind fold and told me that they had let Sassyslut lose some time back and that I was flying solo for quite a while. So again, I was center attention and not quite sure how that happened.
I piped up stating that I won then, right?! I did
But to be fair so did Sassyslut. We both got the toys up for grabs. YAY!!!
So I know this was long winded but I wanted to share my first Dungeon experience. I haven’t had this much fun and so willingly to be on display like I was. This is something that I find exciting and willing to figure out.
But interestingly enough, I started out as a top and ended up being a bottom.
Itchy Owie
10 Aug 2011 4 Comments
in Relations Tags: Allergy, BJ, Candidiasis, condom, crotch, Health, hubby, Infection, pain, Shopping, Spermicide
Sometimes, after an encounter with a fella, I find myself out of commission for a few days. The rawness and irritation that my crotch goes thru is very similar to a yeast infection. In some cases it turns into an infection. I am not fond of this after effect of a little romp. But it makes me wonder, WTF?! Why am I getting this. Some holy being is telling me I’m a dirty whore and to quit being a slut and just fuck the old man. Um, yeah.. Ok.. for like month or so I would comply but .. then I go and do it all over again. Yeah, just a glutton for punishment.
So playing with BJ, I have to admit that right when he penetrated me it started off rough and the soreness kicked in. Nothing more I could do but to suck it up and go with it. I am not into pain and well, sore crotch is in that realm of pain for me. Slap on the ass and hair pulling, not in that realm. That’s momentary sensory pain that I can handle. So in all fairness I think I would have enjoyed the moments if my crotch didn’t feel like it was on fire.
Of course I came home and was horny as hell but noticeably sore. I wanted sex and well humped the hubby to get my rocks off. I controlled the gist of it until he did me doggy style but by that time frame I was in orgasmic heaven ignoring the screaming crotch.
The next day I paid for it. And while I was using the over the counter vagina cremes, I started to ponder as to why is this shit happening. I then remembered reading from a very experienced sex educator and fellow Slut, that women can have an allergic reaction to the spermicide on the condoms. *LIGHT BULB*
I even mentioned this to a girlfriend of mine that was having this same reaction to it as well. And encouraged her to take some Benadryl to help get rid of it. It worked for her and I should have realised this is what was happening to me. *smacks forehead* Thinking back now on the majority of my crappy experiences; soreness was always apart of why it sucked so bad.
So I now get it and need to stop this from happening again. Should I go on dates doped out on Benadryl? Pack my own spermicide free condoms? Go bareback? Saran wrap it? Any suggestions would be great. Seriously.
Guilty Sex
23 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Relations Tags: clit, considerate, guilty sex, hubby, mulitiple orgasms, Nipple, orgasm, pain
It has been sometime that Hubby had sex but that is due to me not being up to par. I find no pleasure in pain so the past month or so I have not been in the mood. But lately I have found that my medication puts me back in “normal” mode for a good eight hours before I have to take the pain killers again. I dropped hints to Hubby that I was game to mess around but he would not take me seriously.
I finally asked him why and he stated that he did not want to have Guilty Sex. Meaning he did not want a few moments (well longer than that) of pleasure and then see me be in pain afterwards. This puts him in a guilt ridden mode that he would refrain from touching me again.
What a sweet man I have right? I am quite lucky to have a considerate man. Thoughts fly thru my head as to “gee I am so very lucky” to “grrr be a little more aggressive, man!” but ultimately I know he is worried about my health even if I am not.
He did take me by surprise a few days ago. I woke up with his lips attached to my nipple and his fingers on my clit. It was an instant arousal that had me squirming and wanting more. When he entered me it was like coming home. Being celibate for so long had brought on one of the hardest orgasms that I ever experienced that went on forever. Or so it seemed like it did. I believe there were several big orgasms that melted into each other that had me screaming in delight.
Since then I have to say the beast has awaken and wants more. But life likes to wreck that so we wait till the next moment to arise.
Flawed
06 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Open marriage, Relations Tags: adult abuse, Child abuse, emotional baggage, flaws, healing, hubby, Mother, pain, parental abuse, Sheman
We all have flaws. Some are physical but we all have some kind of flaw. I would be the first to admit that I am loaded with flaws. Well not loaded.. one or two doozies, ok!? But those who know me and love me, it’s due to my flaws that makes me unique and fun.
Yet there is a flaw that I have that is physical and it comes with a huge bag of emotions that tie to my mother. This flaw is actually easy to see if one was looking for it, like a missing finger or ripped ear lobe. Mine is kinda like that but not any of those. Not too many people have noticed it and all of my friends never noticed it. I guess after all these years I learned to mask it so I was not exposing it for those to see.
Anyways, I won’t come right out and say what the flaw is. But since my episode with Black Lion I have been very self conscious of it and pretty much stopped seeing men because of it. He pointed it out that he noticed it and it cut like a knife creating a damage that I wanted to so forget but couldn’t. My husband never asked about my flaw. His consideration to me is amazing and he admits now to me that he does to see this flaw when he looks at me. It does not define me to him. Oh but it does to me.
I confessed how this flaw came about. Truthfully, I don’t know. I always had it. The only info about it was relayed to me by my mother. She claims I did this to myself. Hubby finds that there is more to her story then what she relayed and loads of abuse behind it. I can’t help but think the same.
After all these years I have decided to fix it. Hubby says I don’t have to but for me. I need to. So I have talked to a surgeon and he did the first initial surgery to fix me. That was a week ago today. He states I will need one more surgery to perfect it and I am thrilled.
What I have done now is exposed this flaw to everyone that is near me. Questions are asked and I sensor appropriately to those should know the truth and those who need an edited version. But it’s out in the open. No hiding. Totally exposed and for the first time in my life I don’t feel like I am flawed.
I have a deeper layer to me I suppose that is coming to surface. Being self conscious of this thing for so long I was able to push those away from me and be a total bitch. But what I have done is shown my weakness and I am ok with it. I’m human!
All of those closest to me that known me for years had no clue. Sheman never noticed it. Those friends of mine that I have verbally told I was getting this fixed asked me why? What’s wrong with it? It blew me away that so many people never saw the ugly that I was always aware of.
But what I am finding most about fixing this flaw is that my deep seated painful childhood abuse is simultaneously being fixed. The emotional pain I have attached to this is healing just like my flaw is. I no longer feel such a deep pain when I talk of my past. Am I ready to forgive my mother, I can’t answer that but I know I am at peace with it. She is what she is and I know I won’t be like her with my babies. The worst pain she inflicted on me was during the entire time I have been with my husband and having children. She punished me thru my children and that is unforgivable. Making me feel insignificant in her eyes time and time again during key moments in my life that either required my mother’s presence or her help is what really hurts.
As I heal, I just come to the realization that she is just as deeply flawed as she made me. The damage she created will haunt her as she finds me no longer considering her a significant part in my life. She caused this and I know it’s tearing her up. That’s her punishment and I can live with that.
Emotional Blockage
10 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in Open marriage Tags: connection, Emotion, family, Health, Home, husband, Mother, Open marriage, pain, Parent, Sheman, Sibling
Since I been on hiatus of men and really just interested in Sheman, emotional thoughts have surfaced from other aspects of my life. My childhood. Focusing mainly on my parents and how they treated me. Those who know me quickly realise that my relationship with my parents are very strained to say the least. Sadly, emotional pain is associated with my mother. It’s forever raw emotional pain when she is mentioned and my life is easier when I put my extended family out of my mind and think of my life with my husband and babies.
But as of late I came to realize that there is another avenue of pain that was never acknowledged. My siblings. As a family of six and me being the second born, it was very apparent that I was and still am the black sheep of the family. My siblings were very cruel to me with their verbal abuse that entered into adulthood. What is so fucked up about this is that my parents condoned it and encouraged it. It was the way my life ran.
Does this explain who I am? Maybe. A lot of my personal hangups stem from my childhood but there is something more deeply wrong with me that I never understood. I have a coldness that I instilled in my life because of my upbringing. I never told my mother I loved her until I moved out and was in a stressful situation that caused me to reach out to the only person I knew then as my rock. Before that.. I never heard her say I was pretty, until the day I was busted for shoplifting cosmetics. Only then she tells the officer that I did not need this cause I was pretty with out it. At the time I was shocked, but in reality Mom was having her moment of being the wronged one and giving her little speech to help herself cope with her delinquent daughter.
I digress on where I am going with this, I swore this blog was about our Open Marriage but I feel that giving up some of this information helps shape who we are and how we came to this point in our lives. My point is that I have emotionally blocked anyone from touching my heart or being part of my life except for my husband and children.
I figured this out the other day and it had made me cry knowing that this is due to my parents and siblings cruelty towards me. It made me realise why I run so hot and cold towards Sheman. I truly like her but I do my damnest to push her away and I can’t seem to stop it. She is quite the strong willed woman that she knows there is this connection between us and is literally jumping thru these hoops I set up for her. I give her lots of kudos for that. So much so I had apologized to her about being so mean to her and then explained that I liked her a lot and working thru some emotional blockage thats stopping me from embracing these feelings. That was about four days ago and I feel it’s going better between us.
I should probably see a shrink about all of this, but by doing that I would feel thats a weakness I can’t seem to deal with. I have gotten this far on my own and can work thru my own baggage without someone probing and stoking the embers of my painful past.
Black Lion
20 Jun 2010 3 Comments
in Relations Tags: condoms, dry pussy, foreplay, lube, pain
After I killed all my profiles, I woke up refreshed, rejuvenated and no longer depressed. The pressure was off and I was FREE!!! Free enough to feel actually horny enough to want to venture out. So I propositioned Black Lion, and he was game. We set up for today. I was thrilled!
Now grant it, I tend to take care of my hubby first before venturing out. But stars have not been in alignment in days now and so he was not getting his as I went out on my date. I felt kinda bad about it but I figured later on tonight I could rectify it. So after making sure all the kids were happy and fed, I text Black Lion stating I was on my way. We were meeting at his house which was with in 10 minutes drive. YAY!
I get there and I walk in to AC. Thank god!! I was sweating up a storm!! He was wearing his long hair up in a hat. I asked him to let his locks out. His hair was very long. I was impressed. We then chatted about how nice it was to find some one close, in the same or similar situation and not feel the pressure of hooking up constantly. He was cool with it all and we kissed. His full-lipped kisses were very nice and I liked them a lot.
We wandered over to the bed and he started stripping.. so ok.. I took a cue and started stripping as well. He oo’d and aaah’d over my big butt saying that he loves a gal with a big butt. Stated he was upset his woman lost hers and so this made me feel better about my body. He felt up my breasts and I told him that my nipples were very sensitive. He says Oh yeah. I say Oh yeah.. I can cum by you playing with them. He says nice. I tell him I also like to be manhandled some and he answers “cool”. This is so fantastic! I am starting to get the tingles of a good time coming on.
So we are naked now and both kneeling on the bed as we kiss again. Its nice and the tingles continue. He then ventures down my neck and cups one of my breasts and very lightly suckle my nipple. This was ok but needed to be more tougher but he side tracked me with lightly fingering my puss for a few seconds. Ok. Nice.. He then stops and I stroke his cock telling him its been a very long time since I had been with a black man. He kisses me again and I ask where would you like me. He tells me to lie down and I do. He pops off the bed then and tells me that his woman wants him to use condoms. We discussed this earlier that we did not have to use anything as along as everyone is clean. But him springing this on me now was really not a problem for me. He grabs his condoms and comes back. Then immediately puts one on and my heart sank.
He then proceeds to put his latex covered cock into my dry pussy. What do you think happened? Pain city. What the fuck!!!?? Where the hell is the foreplay? Why are you not making me squirm with desire to have you big cock in me? All of these questions are flying thru my head and I couldn’t believe he was fucking this up.
He pulls me to the edge of the bed and standing there he tries getting his cock in me and does.. but it’s not at all enjoyable. And the latex dries it me up even more. After a little bit he says oh.. looks like we need some lube. Grabs some and puts it on and its ok for a bit but I am still not enjoying it. His cock is longer then I am used to and its poking spots that make it really painful. After some time like this he declares he needs another condom. I roll over onto my stomach because I am cramping, getting really sore and wanting this over with.
He puts on the condom and again goes to put it back in me. I am cringing in pain as the cramps worsen and he is happily pounding away until I can’t stand it anymore. I pull forward and he questions me. I tell him he is longer then what I am used to and the condoms are hurting me. I roll over on to my back. Really not wanting to go any further with this as he says Oh I”m sorry but doesn’t stop. He grabs the lube and now its burning. And I say, its burning!
Why do I not stop these things right then and there? Because I am truly a nice girl. I am a pleaser to the point were I physically get hurt. My husband has caused me a number of yeast infections from not getting me ready and I just can’t seem to tell this practical stranger to stop I am done. Instead I let the man continue and he gets to cum. I am left with a sore pussy and mad and so, so, so fucking disappointed.
I told him when it was over that it was in fact horrible. And he said well next time it will be better. Yeah.. no. I don’t see that happening again. Ever. But being the nice girl I am let him think there would be.
So now I am done. Done with all men and their lies to get in my pants. I believe a new rule must be enforced now. The next man (if and when I decide) I am going to have sex with will enclose references of women they bedded and can vouch for their ability to perform foreplay. If they can’t, well then they are shit out of luck with me.
Ouch
07 Jun 2010 1 Comment
in Relations Tags: bdsm, open relationship, pain
Over a week ago I set up a lunch date with this fella who stated he was in a OR (open relationship). With him saying that, I told him if we were going to meet then I would have to meet his woman. He was ok with it. Ok fine. We set up to do lunch at a Chinese buffet that has an excellent sushi bar. In an after thought I invited my hubby along so it became a couple’s meet.
We get there and they are seated. He is a tall nice good-looking black man with long hair hidden away in a knitted hat. I liked his face immediately. His woman was a pretty pierced and tattooed white girl who was a bit shy at first. It was a nice lunch, my hubby is quite disarming and can talk a person out of their shell without much effort. It seemed that they (the fellas) hit it off famously. I found it amusing, seeing that we were all there to check out a possible lover or two in the future.
After the lunch we said our goodbyes and talked of hooking up soon, then went our separate ways. I was interested in this man because of the sex talk we did have, he mentioned that he has a constant need for it. That was a nice change of pace for me. Some one that I would have to “tap out” on instead of them telling me I am too much woman for them.
Yet our time to hook up has yet to come. I had suffered a flare up in back that had me bed ridden in pain for days. Pain killers and muscle relaxers barely touched it. So for a week I was a suffering fool. I freaked out because this pain was something I thought I would never have to feel again. A year-long painful journey that ended in back surgery. People didn’t understand my pain but when the asked how bad can it be. My response would be that I would rather give birth every day then to deal with that pain again. Why? Because I know there is a light at the end of that tunnel when the baby is in my arms and the pain is no longer there. My pain with my back was there every four to six hours. Waking me in the middle of the night and causing me to be a doped up zombie that my kids barely knew.
I came to realize with this last round of pain why I would never be interested in BDSM. Pain is not pleasurable by any means and I would probably freak out if someone was to get really rough with me. In fact I remember a guy doing that and I stopped him cold. Ditched his ass and never looked back. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t like to be man handled a bit. In fact I do! A soft touch is not something gets me off. So yeah, I like a happy medium of rough and tumble.
So since my painful week, I haven’t been wanting to hook up with anyone. This fella wants to hook up but I am not feeling it. And Limo guy is pmsing or something. God that man is worse than a woman. I have some unfinished business with him and then he is history. And I am also realizing my pain is very stress related. Something has to give soon. Oh and the topper is that the pain stops me from being able to cum. How fucked up is that! I am hoping that this is soon to be rectified and I won’t have the crippling pain again.

