hooking up issues?
30 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in Relations Tags: cheating, commitment, confusion, lies, Open marriage, open relationship, poly, poly love, poly relationships, sex, single women
Late last night I conversed with several men that was some what enlightening for the female species.
First let me get out-of-the-way an update on BJ, he sent me a response stating he did not know we had set a date. Umm, what? I wish I saved the IM of the actual date and dinner we were going to have. But lets just chalk it up to the lack of blood flow to his brain and once he relieved the swelling all thoughts of me and our date went out of his head. Whatever, I find it odd that he didn’t realise we had a date set and blows it off so nonchalantly.
Limo guy is still MIA and so is my urge to fuck anyone. So I am just chatting and brooding. Which comes to the subject of this posting of hooking up with the opposite sex.
While chatting with the first fella, he was the one that I previously posted about his issue with Single Women. He had felt that these women walk into his life and the relationship knowing full well that they are not number one and are okay with it. Yet he fails to realise that women that are single have this urge to have that number one man and build a life with them. This guy is not someone they can bring home to meet mom and dad. Theres no future with him. So sooner or later they realise they are wasting valuable baby making years and walk away. Both parties are in pain but it was necessary to do.
I informed him to get himself a gal that just broke up from a relationship or is divorcing. Be the rebound guy and don’t expect the lovey parts. But that’s what he truly wants. So there lies his dilemma. My advice was to find another Open relationship and see how you mesh with that girl. Did I set myself up? Who knows, he is of course outside of my golden rule of- No dating anyone outside 25 miles radius. But I am known to break my own rules.
Then there was another gentleman popping up on my IM that I long ago deleted, this guy hasn’t spoken to me in several years. He is in an Open Relationship and he too is having issues hooking up with women. Why is that? Well all I can say is that crap we women put up with while dealing with men, makes us leary of wanting to hook up with you guys.
For one, you don’t consider our boundaries or our needs. Then once you have our attention you drop the ball! Blowing us off for the longest time, then waltz back to us expecting to find us ecstatic you remembered us. That we should want to thank you with a blow job. Well on behalf of all of us loose women I would like to say, Fuck You! or better yet Go Fuck Yourself! You screwed up and we’ve moved on, end of story.
I totally sympathize with those men in Open Relationships and Marriages, finding a suitable woman to have a relationship with is very hard. What can I say but this where the woman’s rule and the men are left clamouring for our attention. Its fantastic for women’s ego and self-esteem but its a huge humbling kick in the nads for the men.
But it’s not all roses for us women either, men can’t handle part-time relationships. Christ look at Limo guy, I throw my pussy at him and expect nothing in return and he finds it difficult to accept. He stated before that if I was Cheating on my husband, he would have been ok with all of this. But why? Why should I be lying to my husband to get laid by someone else? Is it because I could some day be his? What kind of life is that? Starting out a relationship by cheating. There is no future there. Only mistrust and then that relationship is doomed to fail because it started out all wrong. I don’t get it at all. Someone please, enlighten me.
Poly love
29 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in Open marriage Tags: commitment, Open marriage, poly love, poly relationships, polyamour
An enjoyable song that is about a Poly love based relationship. Check it out!
Single women
28 Apr 2010 2 Comments
in Open marriage Tags: attraction, commitment, help, lust, married, Open marriage, poly, poly love, poly relationships, sex, single women
Well this posting is a bit different today. I have a fellow in a Open Relationship or poly lifestyle in need of some advise on Single Women. Here’s his dilemma:
Glad to see that you and your hubby are proudly in an open relationship. My women and I have also been doing that for a while; although we call it poly (sure you’re acquainted with the term). I think there are a lot more people who are in one or wish they where in an open relationship, but do not speak up about it. The world would probably be a better world if they did.
So after reading your profile I see you had some trouble dealing with married men who don’t understand what an open relationship is about, sorry you that you’ve had those situations.
I have had similar troubles like that, but it has been with single women. To sum up a few long stories, I have gotten involved with single women, who know full well that I am in a poly relationship. I’m up front about everything. I’m not here to lie or deceit people just to get laid, I really do want genuinely close relationships. So the dating or seeing (whatever you want to call it) processes goes good for a while, then one day they tell me they can be involved with me anymore because I’m with someone else. I get the I’m a great guy speech and they really wish things could be different and all that type of stuff. In fact I would much rather they tell me I’m a jerk or something that I could understand. So I’m left standing there thinking WTF why would you get involved with me in the first place if you knew you couldn’t handle this type or relationship.
I would really appreciate your thoughts about that you seem to on my side of the fence with that with situations like that. Well, those experiences have led me to stay away from single women.
So this poor joe wants to have fun-loving relationships with Single females but they just can’t handle things being noncommittal perhaps?
I’d love to hear your take on this.
Poly Love?
20 Oct 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: poly love, poly relationships, polyamour
My first guy I like to write about is someone I met thru a yahoo group about Polyamour Relationships. What is Poly.. whew.. it’s a tough one actually! No one has the same situation. Its starts with two people who are an exclusive couple wanting to share their love with others. This couple is called the Primary. They then find their next love interest and they become Secondaries. And it can balloon into a family tree so to speak. Not to mention get crazy complicated.
So it really is a personal journey how you would progress in this adventure, keeping in mind you have boundaries, personal rules and children to protect.
With me, I was not so inclined to incorporate my children in a poly relationship. In fact I am extremely protective of my young and would go for the jugular if you hurt one of my babies.
So setting all that aside, I ventured into a more romantic setting of a polyrelationship. He was quite by accident too. I was just looking to meet some new friends that are in poly relationships and see how I would fair in this setting.
Lets call him Ryan. Ryan is sweet… romantic.. endearing.. and he has the most kissable lips I have ever had the opportunity to kiss.
So I chat online with Ryan for several weeks via email and then we ventured towards Yahoo IM and I was able to see what he looked like. We both liked what we saw. Interesting conversation about his life had me soo intrigued I wanted to know more about him.
This man’s primary relationship had her secondary partner living with them. This floored me. WOW! What kinda man is this to let his primary have her lover live in the same home as them and be part of the family. Quite shocking, isn’t it! Well I needed to meet this man.
Our meeting was very exciting, which was fantastic for me, I had not been excited about meeting anyone in a long time. Our first meeting was outside a bar. I walked right up to him and kissed him. It was amazing and I could have stayed there all night just kissing him.
We had a nice “date” that seemed to be something of a therapeutic session for him and possibly for me as well. I found he was truly unhappy. He as a man in his own home is not at all ok with another man in his home.
I was a bit taken back by all this and my heart broke for him. His public portrayal of him being in a happy arrangement was a lie. My whole attraction to him was that there was an openness between us. That there were no boundaries that we couldn’t speak of. His confession to me brought out feelings of dislike for his spouse.
Our second date was at this bar that put on Karaoke, I invited him along. I was with some girlfriends that don’t judge. Most of my girls are in similar relationships. I like it that way.
Anyways, Ryan thought he would be intruding so as an after thought I suggested he brought along his spouse. Instead he brings both her and her lover.
Talk about a weird situation. I was immediately reserved and withdrawn from Ryan. I was very uncomfortable. After some time had passed, I was able to be relax some and observe his wife and her lover.
I found that out of the three of them, Ryan stuck out as the third wheel. That she was more attentive to her lover then her husband. She looked uncomfortable in her own skin. And her lover was a pompous ass.
Ryan was surprised at my observation and said I was accurate on all counts.
Our evening ended with me feeling myself shut down and not wanting to be with him.
He knew I was disturbed by it all and finding it all incredibly hard to swallow his situation and trying to include me in it.
Rules needed to be stablished. I don’t hang out with wife and lover. Can’t do it. His pain was mine and I protect those I care about in pain. Things would be said if I was around them. So in pre=”in “>everyones best interest I cannot be in their vicinity.
Our third date was a movie, sweet romantic movie of Zombies.. he was adorably frightened and clung to my hand. I just could feel his sadness seep into me and I needed to fix this man.
Our evening ended with me telling him how messed up his life truly is. His spouse has made him her secondary and her lover her primary. IN his own house. OUCH!
He saw the light and confronted her. I helped him see the light that was blinding everyone else. His world crumbled as he realised his marriage was over.
He now is picking up his pieces.. and I feel some guilt over showing him the truth. Although he adamantly states I was not the only one showing him the way life should be for him.
Witnessing my love for my husband and children really brought to light how his wife should behave towards him.
Our relationship has taken a bit of a hiatus. We still talk, flirt and see one another but can this relationship work? His life is a disaster. Unstable. And now he has a freedom to explore life to the fullest.
My attraction to him was the sweet romantically things we say to one another and time we spend.
He is ready to get on his runaway train and see where it crashes. I just need to decide.. do I hop on that train with him?
