Wine Revelations
18 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Open marriage, Relations Tags: dating, kissing, love, Open marriage, poly, secondary, tipsy, Twin, Wine
Today I went to a local wine festival with my twin and her hubby. They are in an Open marriage where she has found love with another man and now considers herself poly. This is where we differ. I have such a deep loving relationship with my husband that I do not feel this emotional attachment to another person nor do I think I ever would. I have such a rare man who I don’t see any man or woman coming close to being what he is. If I were to lose him tomorrow, for any reason, I would be lost and inconsolable for a very long time. And with saying that I know I would never marry again.
Chatting with my Twin, she tells me her hubby is now in the market to date. Their situation is fairly new being about 2 to 3 years in Opening their marriage. She was very ready for this Openness where he had to silently cope with the dynamics of this change in their relationship. I find it fascinating to be witnessing her counterpart venturing out and becoming a man per say.
I say this because he is such a quiet man with plenty of insecurities and issues. My first meeting of him was disappointing. No eye contact, mumbled a lot and really could not interact. The next several times I have seen him he progressively became better with the eye contact and some interaction. Spending the day with him was really not something I wanted to do and made sure to pass on to him that he would have to loosen up. It was a day to let down our hair and taste some wines. And I have to say he surprised me with his conversations and interacting with me. I liked him!
By the end of our time tasting as much wine as possible, I was quite tipsy. I would not say I was drunk but I was quite grateful for our Designated Driver (her hubby) to cart our happy asses back to the car. On our way out I asked them if they were hungry, and they said no, but I sorta was. I had a munchy craving so to speak. So they treated me to Arby’s which I never had before. I ended up sharing the sandwich and the fries with her hubby while chatting away with Twin.
We stopped at gas station due to Twin needing a potty break and I took this opportunity to get more acquainted with Hubby. I pretty much just threw myself into his lap and started kissing him. He kissed pretty well with some tongue but not all crazy down the throat tongue kissing. I let his hands roam and I did the same to him, which was all nice too! He then stopped me and told me Twin was coming back. So I stopped and got back into my seat. Twin laughed and asked if she should go back into the gas station or go for a walk. I don’t remember which but that was nixed and off we went.
Apparently I made the man’s day by doing this. I felt no pressure from him and I totally enjoyed it. He is a safe toy to play with. Discussing this further with Twin later on, I came to the conclusion that perhaps the circles I have been going in is not where I should be. Dating single men is so wrong for me. Dating POLY people is so right.
I believe this is what I have been missing. I also believe that I cannot handle someone unattached because I do not want to be their center of attention. My life is very full already. Any secondary person entering my life must understand that I have to be secondary for them as well. By doing this I believe the pressure and chaos of crazy relationships will even out.
hooking up issues?
30 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in Relations Tags: cheating, commitment, confusion, lies, Open marriage, open relationship, poly, poly love, poly relationships, sex, single women
Late last night I conversed with several men that was some what enlightening for the female species.
First let me get out-of-the-way an update on BJ, he sent me a response stating he did not know we had set a date. Umm, what? I wish I saved the IM of the actual date and dinner we were going to have. But lets just chalk it up to the lack of blood flow to his brain and once he relieved the swelling all thoughts of me and our date went out of his head. Whatever, I find it odd that he didn’t realise we had a date set and blows it off so nonchalantly.
Limo guy is still MIA and so is my urge to fuck anyone. So I am just chatting and brooding. Which comes to the subject of this posting of hooking up with the opposite sex.
While chatting with the first fella, he was the one that I previously posted about his issue with Single Women. He had felt that these women walk into his life and the relationship knowing full well that they are not number one and are okay with it. Yet he fails to realise that women that are single have this urge to have that number one man and build a life with them. This guy is not someone they can bring home to meet mom and dad. Theres no future with him. So sooner or later they realise they are wasting valuable baby making years and walk away. Both parties are in pain but it was necessary to do.
I informed him to get himself a gal that just broke up from a relationship or is divorcing. Be the rebound guy and don’t expect the lovey parts. But that’s what he truly wants. So there lies his dilemma. My advice was to find another Open relationship and see how you mesh with that girl. Did I set myself up? Who knows, he is of course outside of my golden rule of- No dating anyone outside 25 miles radius. But I am known to break my own rules.
Then there was another gentleman popping up on my IM that I long ago deleted, this guy hasn’t spoken to me in several years. He is in an Open Relationship and he too is having issues hooking up with women. Why is that? Well all I can say is that crap we women put up with while dealing with men, makes us leary of wanting to hook up with you guys.
For one, you don’t consider our boundaries or our needs. Then once you have our attention you drop the ball! Blowing us off for the longest time, then waltz back to us expecting to find us ecstatic you remembered us. That we should want to thank you with a blow job. Well on behalf of all of us loose women I would like to say, Fuck You! or better yet Go Fuck Yourself! You screwed up and we’ve moved on, end of story.
I totally sympathize with those men in Open Relationships and Marriages, finding a suitable woman to have a relationship with is very hard. What can I say but this where the woman’s rule and the men are left clamouring for our attention. Its fantastic for women’s ego and self-esteem but its a huge humbling kick in the nads for the men.
But it’s not all roses for us women either, men can’t handle part-time relationships. Christ look at Limo guy, I throw my pussy at him and expect nothing in return and he finds it difficult to accept. He stated before that if I was Cheating on my husband, he would have been ok with all of this. But why? Why should I be lying to my husband to get laid by someone else? Is it because I could some day be his? What kind of life is that? Starting out a relationship by cheating. There is no future there. Only mistrust and then that relationship is doomed to fail because it started out all wrong. I don’t get it at all. Someone please, enlighten me.
Single women
28 Apr 2010 2 Comments
in Open marriage Tags: attraction, commitment, help, lust, married, Open marriage, poly, poly love, poly relationships, sex, single women
Well this posting is a bit different today. I have a fellow in a Open Relationship or poly lifestyle in need of some advise on Single Women. Here’s his dilemma:
Glad to see that you and your hubby are proudly in an open relationship. My women and I have also been doing that for a while; although we call it poly (sure you’re acquainted with the term). I think there are a lot more people who are in one or wish they where in an open relationship, but do not speak up about it. The world would probably be a better world if they did.
So after reading your profile I see you had some trouble dealing with married men who don’t understand what an open relationship is about, sorry you that you’ve had those situations.
I have had similar troubles like that, but it has been with single women. To sum up a few long stories, I have gotten involved with single women, who know full well that I am in a poly relationship. I’m up front about everything. I’m not here to lie or deceit people just to get laid, I really do want genuinely close relationships. So the dating or seeing (whatever you want to call it) processes goes good for a while, then one day they tell me they can be involved with me anymore because I’m with someone else. I get the I’m a great guy speech and they really wish things could be different and all that type of stuff. In fact I would much rather they tell me I’m a jerk or something that I could understand. So I’m left standing there thinking WTF why would you get involved with me in the first place if you knew you couldn’t handle this type or relationship.
I would really appreciate your thoughts about that you seem to on my side of the fence with that with situations like that. Well, those experiences have led me to stay away from single women.
So this poor joe wants to have fun-loving relationships with Single females but they just can’t handle things being noncommittal perhaps?
I’d love to hear your take on this.
